I hate it when that happens..

Source: flickr.com via Amber on Pinterest

The noggin has decided it needs a break..this often happens after a period of major growth for me.

Major period of growth...check.

Brain not giving up any cheeky words..check.

Me loosing sleep the last two nights and starting like 50 million blog posts but not coming up with anything..check.

Be back soon..promise.

The List...

It was a magical week around Roosevelt House.

LOVE this.

10. PANIC!!!!!! The rain turned to SNOW and we all need to find the tallest hill in our general vicinity, drive down it, crash in the ditch and just leave our car there until the snow melts.

I do love me a good western Washington snow storm..this witty post is being brought to you by..

SNOWMAGEDDON 2012

9. Back in the days of me reproducing at such a rapid rate I sure wish someone would have pulled me aside and said, "Amber, not only will your boobs sag for the rest of your life, but you will have to put snow clothes on and off of FOUR children everysingletime it snows."

Snow clothing for the 4 Strehle kiddos is like me taking on a second job..

This year was different though, I only had one little guy to help out and it made me a wee sad.

(the current state of my breasts makes me sad as well, but I buy undergarments to that fix that..growing kiddos? No fix for that) (How many other writers do you know that can tie breasts, snow pants and children all together?? It takes skills dear reader..skills I tell ya.)

8. I will not lie. I'm in LOVE with Pinterest. Who are these people that keep inventing social media must-haves that become complete and udder time suckers, that unknowingly forever change our lives??? I've long had a magazine fetish (I think most creatives do) and Pinterest is like your favorite magazine times 1000, straight to your computer..everysingleday.

7. I'm in LOVE with this image..

(via The Sartorialist)

Now..admittedly I could/would/should not (see#9) wear this while shooting.. BUT to me this just reenforces my belief that what we wear is such an extension of who we are. My BFF Scott Schuman interviewed her about this outfit..she expresses her belief about why she wears what she wears beautifully. Check it out here.

6. Why do us mothers have such a hard time with the notion we actually deserve to dress nice??Does it make you feel selfish and or shallow to think about clothing and MAC lipstick?? Our daily reality is more often the velour sweat-suit rather than the black skinny jeans..but looking nice is nothing to be ashamed about.. ever.

(stepping off soap-box now)

5. Republican primaries..UGH...just hurry and be over already.

4. When the snow started melting I could not help but think of spring..yes I know it's a long way off, but the melting snow has oh-so many metaphors.. I do love me some new beginnings.

3. Favorite iphone photo ever..


Lights up at the Mumford show..me singing along with a bazillion other peeps, sexiest jogger hubby nestled tightly behind me..moved me to tears I tell ya.

2. Have you ever noticed that most beautiful work/amazing art/life changing words almost always come from great pain? Our humanity can birth beautiful things, but it never really comes easily.

1. Some might call this narcissistic or as sexiest jogger in all the land husband said (insert sarcastic tone here), "Sure Amber, God made that huge snow storm that shut down the entire western side of our state and cost businesses thousands of dollars just for you." But that is what Snowmageddon felt like to me. A gift just for me. We have had a crazy, blessed, rough, busy, awesome, scary, just plain out of control 4 months..then..nothing..like a forced by nature nothing. No one coming or going just a beautiful white silence. One day when the power was out, me plus the 4 Strehle kiddos were all cuddled up on the sofa.. together, nothing electronic, no one fighting, no where to be, warm, cozy.. perfection.

Letting go....

My first (and only) horse was named Breezy... he was a rascally looking appaloosa pony.

I was sooo that awkward young 80's girl who talked of nothing other than ponies and Black Stallion books.

Even though the world might not have seen my potential, I saw myself as a great english rider in the making (not the mousy, unkept 7 year old that I really was). Jodhpurs, hair in a bun.. I would some how pick up an english accent and put all the other girls to shame.

My father had a much different idea, raised on a very remote ranch in Oregon in the 50's, he was a cowboy.. (like for reals) and only yellowed bellied sissy's rode with pretty hair and proper dressage.

For my inaugural ride, he (being the cowboy that he was) gave me a leg up on that bare backed head strong pony, with only a halter and a lead rope for reigns, slapped Breezey on the arse and sent us both galloping off across the field.

I was 7, and the stage had officially been set for an unhealthy horse and rider relationship.

One day while riding, above mentioned head strong pony decided he wanted to stop and visit with the other horses across the fence. No amount of my kicking, pulling, yanking, kicking more, slapping on the rump, again with the kicking, was going to move him..in fact, in one quick movement he decided to JUMP the fence. (I think he forgot about me...you know being on his back and all.)

In that one swift movement I went from in control (or so I thought) to galloping across a 10 acre field with 8 other horses.

It was the first time in my life that I felt complete helplessness.

As the world spun out of control, no amount of kicking, pulling, crying, yelling, you know.. fighting the inevitable, would change it.

I knew deep down in my 7 year old wisdom that I could not stop that run-away pony.

So I let go.

Today, dear reader I find myself in a season of letting go.

When I released those reigns years ago, I was shocked, an unexpected emotion flooded over me..

FREEDOM.

The freedom of not holding on so tight, not raising my voice (no one was listening regardless)..freedom of knowing I was only responsible for myself once again.. (we are after all, only accountable for one).

I won't lie and tell you that there was no pain involved..but now as I look back, I wonder if it would not have been so painful if I had just not held on so tight.. maybe released the reigns sooner..

Besides, there is a beautiful thing that happens when we let go..a funny little space between release and the freedom we all so desperately seek...

faith.

Putting the reigns back into the hands of my Creator and

letting go.

Balance

I've been trying to write a 2011 recap for the past week..

It's just not happening, while there are short spurts of witty Amberish humor, it feels forced and disingenuous.. not a fan.

So instead we will just move right along into the New Year.

2012

The year of restoring balance.

You know when Christmas rolls around and you order an egg-nog latte everyday for like two months straight.. then suddenly you have gained 10lbs and can only wear that velour sweat-suit you promised yourself you would never wear?

No??

Oh.. thats never happened to me either... but let's just say I know a gal....

So, instead maybe this gal should have gotten like only one egg-nog latte a week, or even bi-weekly? (crazy thought!) She should have stuck with her normal not AS fattening drink on the off days in order to avoid the above mentioned sweat suit..

You know....

balance.

I woke up one morning during Christmas break (in my velour sweat suit) and realized that maybe... just maybe a few areas in my life had gotten a little out of balance.

My ideal balance..

God

Sexiest jogger in all the land husband

Children

Roosevelt House

My peeps

Dream Job

Philanthropy

Creative endeavors

I look at this list and it makes my tummy feel funny.. because my reality has not been this.

It's time to find balance again..

And maybe switch to decaf.

P.S.

I was TOTALLY joking about switching to decaf.. as if.

P.P.S

I know of a local coffee shop that serves egg-nog ALL YEAR LONG.. who wants to meet me??

Again..joking..balance..check..got it...right.