"Things you might do in public, only to regret later."
I dedicate this list to dumb arsed silly things people do in front of millions (or maybe 10 blog readers) then later regret.
You are welcome.
10. Kanye West interrupting Taylor Swift at the VMA's a few years back.
You just looked like a big fat meanie. Poor Taylor.
9. Zac Efron dropping a condom on the red carpet...of a CHILDREN'S MOVIE.
(for the record I miss the sticky sweet days of HSM and Troy)
8. Tom Cruise on Oprah's sofa.
Imagine doing something so embarrassing that people name it after you, like..
"Now don't go all Tom Cruise on me, get down from the sofa."
(taking it waaaay back) (the guy swallowed by a whale)
Imagine having to stand up in front of a ship full of sea sick men, and admitting.. "yes, the storm that we are currently caught in?? All. My. Fault. Sorry bout' that. Not sure why I thought I could run from the Creator of the UNIVERSE."
6. My first President.. Mr. Clinton.
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
Dang that blue dress.
5. Anthony Weiner
Seriously the first time I read about Mr. Weiner (pronouced wi-ner, for the record) I thought maybe the story was a joke.. or a SNL skit..
A politician accidently tweeting a picture of his weiner, with a last name of Weiner.. really??
I mean it's just too good.. the guy was doomed.. just imagine what he had to endure in middle school.
4. Harold Camping (guy who predicted the end of the world)
Believe me buddy I was rooting for you.. I would sooo much rather be chilling in heaven right now because my laundry pile is HUGE..
3. Just recently.. Angelina's leg dress.
Somedays you gotta feel sorry for movie stars.
When you or I make a bad fashion decision only about 10 people might see it.. your kiddos, the gossipy mommies at school, your hubby. Last weekend I ventured out in a huge oversized sweater, ugg boots accompanied by sweat pants.. for some strange reason, my picture did not go viral. Weird.
2. Public figures getting caught with just about anybody and everybody BESIDES their spouse/gf/bf yougetmypoint.
This is just plain common sense, I can get a tracking device for my chicken.. and you think you can sneak around with the hot nanny that your wife should have never hired.
1. Blog posting late at night when you are emotional.
There are people in this world who are really really careful with their emotions (actually I'm married to one of those), these (weirdo) types slow down, take note, think a whole bunch before they speak/write/respond.
Then there is me.
Mostly everything I just listed would be the opposite of me. I'm horribly reactionary, equally as neurotic and desperately passionate. I'm a little bit of a mess at any given time, and always disgusted with my own humanity (in a very narcissistic way) (holy cow, I need to see my therapist).
This space is a funny balance of sharing enough to be transparent and honest (which is why I even write) along with trying not to be offensive and polarizing.
My blog is a pretty good indicator of what I'm currently walking through in life, my hope is that as I blog it out it will make more sense to me.. (which it often does). In keeping with my theme of being a narcissistic blogger, it really is almost always not about you dear reader.. but rather me. (sorry)
PLUS... this is JUST a blog.. about nothing really. Gazillions of people have mediocre blogs (yay us!) I'm only one girl with a bit of an overinflated view of self, a keyboard and too many words jumbling around in the noggin (oh and I want a book deal).. thats it, no more.