Mommy Monday

This weeks Mommy Monday will look a little different than the last few. When I first had this idea I knew that I wanted to spotlight Mom’s of all different stages, types and phases of Mommyness. This next Mom popped into my noggin for a perfect choice. She is not someone I’m super close with, but I knew her journey would inspire and uplift, so I sent off an email asking her to participate in Mommy Monday, specifically to talk about her adoption story, my email ended like this…

Please don't feel at all pressured to do this. You just popped into my mind when I was thinking of all the Mommies I know and all of our different life journeys. If you are not comfortable please say no, I will not be at all offended, I promise:)
Thank You, Amber

To which she responded with this..

Hi Amber –
This sounds fun - you can count me in. Thanks for thinking of me.

Then about a week later I received this.

Hi Amber -
I am having trouble completing this project right now.....I'm going through a very rough time in my "mommy adventure". *****, my 12 year old, is having a hard time and it's really taking it out of me. I don't want to give the impression that I don't love being a mom and feel SO blessed to have these amazing girls for my daughters, but at the moment I can't seem to pull off the interview. I think one of the main things that's going on with her is adoption related. She has no contact with her birth mom and even though she doesn't express it to me in words, I know she's hurting. Her sister has ongoing contact(with her birth mom) and I think that really shines a light on what she feels she's missing. So your interview questions about open adoption are coming at a time when we are having issues. I know we'll get through this and one day I will have a great report of God's grace during this time. Even though we had an open adoption at the beginning, it hasn't remained open (birth mom's choice). This is probably more information than you really needed, but I wanted to try and explain why I'm struggling. I know you will understand - you're just that kind of person! I appreciate you thinking of me; thanks so much. And I'm sorry to let you down after I told you I would do it.

To which I responded..

I'm so sorry!! Please do not worry one tiny bit. Just even this email, even though you more than likely don't think so was an inspiration to me. Oh this journey we are all on! It may have different faces, but in our Mommy hearts it all stings the same way. This has me thinking.. would you mind me posting this email (if I left out all names and particulars) instead?? The transparency and love you just conveyed to me is really what being a mom is all about right?? No pressure at all. You let me know:)
I will be be praying for **** and the rest of your family.
Blessings-Amber

I’ve had that day (month?year?). If you have more than one child over the age of 2 you know precisely what I'm referring to. Because of this type of day..I’ve cried in public restrooms, churches, cars, friends house ect..
The thing is, it took me a long time to realize that I was not alone. I was not the only Mommy who had ever gone through this, and that my child was not the first to do that and will not be the last. It took me too long to ask for help. I wish that someone would have come along side me and said, "it’s ok, I understand, your not alone.”
This week, challenge yourself dear reader, find that Mom, you know the one (you might know two)..she is a little frazzled, a little stressed, you can see it on her face. Tell her a funny story about your life, buy her a coffee and let her know she is not alone.

Last week I had a comment from a reader that sums this up perfectly for me,
“With each story, although different from my own and one another, I feel a sense of connection because this 'mom-thing' gives us a commonality!”

Yes this journey is hard and no last I checked, kids don't come with a manual. While I can't give advice on adopted children, she cannot give advice on rearing twin boys..but we both found common ground.. as Mommies.