A nice healthy dose of perspective

March 31, 2011

A nice healthy dose of perspective

I don't want this post to be the preverbal..

"We are so blessed to live here" lecture. (I hope you know we are)

or even the

"1.4 million children die of water born illnesses a year" post either. (the water looked like chocolate milk)

"all I'm asking is for 1 dollar per brick and we can build a school" (if you do want to help out..let me know)

Really peeps I don't know what to say without it coming off as self-righteous and over played.

I will say this, post Kenya I feel like things {mean people,money, politics, general end of the world feeling, my art} that really seemed to matter when my plane lifted off 17 days ago don't seem to matter as much right now.

I don't know how to process what I'm walking through, I don't know how to feel about what I've seen. I'm not tough, brave or fearless. Today I feel sad, humbled and very quiet..my soul is craving silence.

Silly, silly Amber is what I'm saying to myself as I look in the mirror.

I feel a bit like a fool.

My Creator gave me perspective. Sadly it always has to be earth shaking for me..I guess I don't pick up well on the small cue's (homelessness, joblessness, earthquakes). I have to feel it, it has to be personal. I don't like that about myself..I wish I was the fast learner type.

For my perspective shift today I marveled at my faucet. I turned it on and clean clear water came pouring out.

Really peeps its a little bit of genius.

**I'm working on my Kenya story. I will be posting the stories {and pic's} all next week**

Comments

Lateda said…

awww. such cuties:) Love the post, looking forward to more.

7:04 AM

Anonymous said…

It's nice to hear a bit from your heart and see even just one picture! I've been listening to that little voice that says, 'no, don't call yet'...we'll talk when we talk! Enjoy life, family and clear water!

7:05 AM

Mavis said…

Hi Amber, I know exactly how you are feeling, but sadly, life will return to normal. For me, coming out of China, I felt I would never be the same. In some ways that's true, but in other ways we go back to what we're used to. It will make a difference in how you raise your kids though. We spent month in the Philippines, also. That was a heart breaker, especially the Manilla garbage dump. I'll be praying that God will direct your steps & your mind as you walk through this time. Love you, Amber, love your dad & Diane & love your friend, Elaine :).

7:09 AM

jeff said…

There is this cloud of awareness that hangs over the head that has seen poverty as juxtaposed to posterity. There's in inner tension that asks "what could I do." It's in this tension that you find clarity. And it's in clarity that change begins to happen not only in you, but also those impacted by your changing.

Hang in there, give up, and God will use you in ways you never imagined.

7:50 AM

Beth E-R said…

It sounds like you have been through a powerful experience. There's no right or wrong tempo in processing it. Travel and seeing how others live is a life-changer. Your picture of those beautiful children says a lot.

8:09 AM

Random Thoughts said…

When you left for Kenya that was the one thing I was most envious of. That you would get to have perspective. I know that I don't no matter how hard I try. I know I am not properly grateful or thankful. I guess processing it will be hard. I love how God never finishes what He is doing in us. Can't wait to hear more. Love you!

8:24 AM

Unknown said…

it's amazing isn't it? How the whole world can change if we're willing. You are in re-entry...it's hard and lonely. I remember coming home after 3 months in Romania after the revolution, and walking into a grocery store. It was overwhelming. Embrace it all. So hard to leave the faces of those we fall in love with so quickly. Quiet is good.
Hug,
deb

8:28 AM

Unknown said…

I'm going back to Romania in September. You'll go back too. Part of your heart will always be there.

8:31 AM

Jennifer said…

Getting a new perspective is a powerful thing! I wish more people would travel outside the box to see what the rest of the world is like. It puts things in perspective quite quickly and is truly transformative.

I remember coming home from the Peace Corps, after two and a half years away, and being completely overwhelmed by our huge homes, grocery stores and shopping malls and just complete over abundance of stuff and how that compared to how most of the rest of the world lives. It is easy to get caught back up in the day to day and lose sight of all you have learned but it will stay in your heart. I can tell by your one picture you have posted today, yeah, it will stay in your heart.

It is hard to put into words for people who haven't experienced something like this. So glad we have your pictures to catch a glimpse of what you experienced. Looking forward to hearing and seeing more.

9:09 AM

Lisa of Lisa's Little House said…

I have no words except thank you.
xxoo,

9:15 AM

Mary Huerta said…

Thank you Amber for sharing your heart. Made me cry because I get so wrapped up in the day to day I forget to pray other countries and the Missionaries. It brought back a lot of memories from Mexico, seeing the kids.

9:50 AM