My Scar.

**Sorry no picture today, but really I could not bring myself to type "scar" into google images..yuck.**

I'm not sure why, but my daughter is always talking to me about the scar on my chest.

"Mom, today your scar looks a little like a pretty necklace."

"Mom, if I look at your scar in the right light, it's not as noticeable."

"Mom, do you think your scar will ever go away?"

Truthfully I don't think it's the scar itself that intrigues her so much..but rather the story behind the scar on my chest.

It's kind of an embarrassing story..not one of my finer moments. By sharing this story with you it (just might) change your opinion of me... (like by thinking..she really is not as smart as she writes she is, and thoughts like that)(but really I am pretty smart)(some days)(ok, like maybe 3 days of the month)(but that is saying something)(right?)

I tried to iron my shirt while I was wearing it.

Ok, really I was steaming the shirt while I was wearing it, but I was in a hurry and not really focusing on what I was doing and..well now I have a slightly noticeable scar smack in the middle of my chest..right where a necklace would sit.

This week I was thinking about scars.. actually emotional scars.

I was thinking that it would be pretty dang handy if all of our emotional scars were visible..like the one in the middle of my chest.

For instance, if I had a handy little scar that read..

"Lost Mom at a young age, so she overcompensates by attempting (rather poorly I might add) at being the best Mom ever to her children. At times this can take over her life and everything else is just going to have to take a back seat..God, husband, parents, ect..please don't take it personally when she does not have time for you.

Others might say,

"Had an eating disorder in High-School, struggles with body image and can some times act rude when I feel threatened."

"My childhood was so out of control I try really hard to control everything around me as an adult, yes I'm a control freak."

"I was hurt by someone at church, I blame God, any talk of religion makes me feel judged."

I think that if we had outside labels on our inside hurts we might be a tad bit more understanding of others.

Sometimes we try really, really hard to keep our scars hidden.

It would be like if I decided to wear a turtle neck, every single day, for the rest of my life.

"Hmm, what is up with that Amber chick? Why does she wear a turtle neck to the beach?" (ok, not Washington beaches..like California beaches..work with me)

At a certain point, people start noticing our emotional scars, they kind of manifest themselves even when we try to keep them hidden. Actually...mostly when we try and hide them they tend to show up at very inconvenient times..we look rude, insecure, angry for all the wrong reasons.

I'm pretty sure when the woman yelled at me in the Safeway parking lot it really did not have too much to do with my parking job.

I need to work a little harder on looking deeper, ask God to help me see past the the turtle neck sweater, not be quick to judge and remember that people are fragile, we have stories, reasons, scars.

It's a shallow life that does not give a person a few scars.

Garrison Keillor