I'm sober.. I promise.
An unexpected adventure to Salvation Mountain
Dane Cook visited me in a dream and told me I needed to start writing again... like for reals.
Not God, or an angel, or anybody particularly cool.. Anne Lamott, Roald Dahl, Al Gore (just joking about the Al Gore being cool part).
Who is Dane Cook you ask? Yeah I had to ask myself that question as well. I mean when was the last time I had even seen or heard of this guy? Well I just happen to have a little chat with him and his potty mouthed self in dream land. Lucky. Me.
Amber's (short)(but profound) Dream with a washed up early 2000's comedian.
***Picture me sitting around a large conference table in a really fabulous dress (that I saw on Pinterest the night before) chatting with Mr. Cook...***
Dane: How come you never told me?
Me: Well, I just didn't think it was that important?
Dane: It's important.
Me: Are we talking about the same thing? (other than my fabulous pinterest hair and bird dress)
Dane: You need to write again Amber.
Then I woke up... because it felt really real. Like for reals real. Like just as real as I'm sitting here typing this post.
Freaked. Me. Out.
So now you are thinking...
"OOOOHHHHH I know why Amber stopped blogging.. she went CRAZY"
Or maybe even worse.. you hardly noticed I was gone and all my thoughts about the narcissism of blogging are true.
But really here is the truth.. What was once easy became hard.. I'd start a post then I'm like..
"ooooh look, here is that mason jar, super food salad recipe, bed to 40k race schedule I've been looking for on Pinterest!"
I was distracted. I was scared. I was disingenuous, but Dane is right.. it's time.
I feel it. That tricky muse is whispering.
2013 I wrote like 4 posts.. and they were all depressing... which kinda sorta explains my year, then finally I was like oh he-double hockey sticks, Ima just gonna give this up. So I did. For the first time in EIGHT YEARS I just stopped writing. At first I felt guilty.. it took my mind a long time to stop looking for things to write about, you know if there is an analogy to be found in that rock over there..I'm going to find it! Then I let a whole bunch of other things go.. like just left em'. Turned off the phone, stopped checking emails, stayed off of social media (ok I just lied about that last part) and pretty much just dropped off the radar.
IT WAS AWESOME.
For those of you who messaged, called, made snarky comments about my lack of blogging..
There were more of you than I had expected (humblebrag).
When I sat down today to finish this I looked back over some of the past 8 years of posting.. Some of my posts are awful (ok a lot) BUT some made me smile, laugh and think, "dang someone needs to publish me" I've made friends here, lost friends here.. found parts of myself that were good and some not so good.
A good friend once told me, "Amber I've known you forever and there is this huge part of you I never knew about until I found you here" It's like this space is piece of my very soul that I feel too sacred to talk about, but safe to write about.
So write I must.