Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Memories of Christmas past...

Some red tinsel love via my iphone.


There are certain parts of my childhood that I LOVE to remember...those glorious virgin moments..still untainted by life's cruel reality.

Sometimes I think my strong (good) memories are a coping mechanism. There are a few parts of my childhood that are not so warm and fuzzy and as I age and choose to let some of those things go.. the memories become a bit fuzzy and tend to move to the background.

I don't think this is such a bad thing.

A few days ago I pulled bright red tinsel garland out of a Christmas box, held it up to my nose and breathed deep... I took in the scent of many Christmas' past, marveled at time's ruthless march and thought about how since the time I was a very little (sweet) girl I have loved that red tinsel garland.

Do you have an item like that in your life dear reader? Some small piece of history, that takes you right back?

I don't remember pulling it out the year after my Mom passed, but I remember the few years before..bringing out the decorations, the merry making of the tree, tacky glass balls accompanied the tacky red tinsel garland.. perfect makings for a 70's tree.

A few years after my own children were born I was bitter about Christmas. I struggled with the pain that sometimes accompanies so much of the Christmas season. Looking back I think I was mourning a bit, realizing that I did not have my biological mother to share the joy of having my own children to celebrate the birth of my Savior with.

Like maybe it was Christmas' fault..like if we did not put up the tree, I would not have to walk through the pain.

Silly me.

One year as I was reluctantly pulling out our decorations I popped open the red tinsel garland box.. a flood of memories came over me.

They were good memories, mixed with the smells of a stale Christmas waiting for a second chance.

That year when I sang Christmas carols at church they had a deeper meaning, they rang truer than ever before, tears pricked my eyes as I looked down the row at the family that my Maker had blessed me with. No more would I lament what I did not have..no, it was time to be thankful for what I did have.

It was time to start making new memories, let my ghosts of Christmas' past go. To choose to hold onto the good and let the bad become that hazy memory.

Now when you visit my house at Christmastime (please come for coffee & cookies!) you will not find the lastest trend in Anthropolgie tree decorating (sorry) but what you will find is a tree FILLED to the brim with love, meaning, nostalgia and the hope that Christmas brings.

While there is still that tinge of sadness laced through the season, the overwhelming feeling of love, hope, celebration (Christ is Born!) and general good-will towards man now fills the void.

I do love me some Christmastime.

Who would have thought red tinsel garland could mean so much??

(it takes super special skills to turn an inanimate object into a bigger issue..just ask the husband)

Have a blessed week dear reader!

6 comments:

tinkerverve said...

Your words are beautiful and heart felt! Your home is beautiful at Christmas time and it's such a worthwhile celebration.

A special Christmas item that I love???....all of it. The older the decoration, the more meaning. As I open up my Christmas decoration boxes my mind is filled with memories and sweet sentiment. I love all that the season encompasses and fight to keep that Meaning sacred and secure!

Merry Christmas, dear friend!

Sheila said...

Those are some wise words, girl. Thanks. I often focus on the problems rather than the blessings. Reading the book One Thousand Gifts was a good thing for me, though.

I love old decorations!

Beth E-R said...

One of my treasured Christmas decorations is a felt Santa that my mom made when I was little. It hung on our back porch door, and greeted me everytime I came home. Now it welcomes me home at my grown-up house. Merry, joyful and peaceful holidays to you and your family!

GardenGirl said...

Beautiful sweet friend. Thank you for your words. Bittersweet, some tears here, and much love.

Red tinsel garland hug,
deb ;)

Charity Watts said...

I have my own "red tinsel garland" memory...Bubby, years ago made a ceramic nativity scene, painted & baked it up. My brothers & I LOVED that nativity! I have it now, missing lots of pieces, but so many memories wrapped up in that one little Christmas decoration! Thank you for the beautiful post, have a Merry Christmas sweet friend...

tonibrenning said...

Amber, your blog really touched me. I've been stuck at that point where Christmas is still very emotional and difficult... but it is still very sweet. Since my kids were born, I've found myself struggling more with my grief than I had in the past. It's just hard.

However, you've given me hope that my Christmas spirit will come back and I can move past this. It's not about me, it's about celebrating the birth of our Savior. :) Thank you for your words Amber. I needed that. Someone to remind me of what I DO have. A loving husband, beautiful kids, and the best family and friends I could ask for. :) Merry Christmas!!!