Wednesday, September 07, 2011

First day of school.

Source: failblog.org via Luce on Pinterest



I swear I blogged about the last day of school like 3 weeks ago, it really honestly feels like 3 weeks. But no, here I am the eve of the first day of school..blogging out my feelings while my house quietly dreams.

It's a big year here at Roosevelt house, I have freshmen (dos). My girl will be 12 and my wee babe is turning 9 on Friday.

Father Time.. you are just plain KILLING ME.

My words are jumbled..my mind a little bit blank. I keep looking around to find some witty words, but they are evasive at the moment and I just keep landing in the same spot,

bewilderment.

Some days I feel super guilty, like maybe I tried to rush past the annoying parts of raising children. Like fast forwarding diapers, toys dumped everywhere, being tied to nap times and long sleepless nights. I wanted to skip ahead to self sufficiency, and not having to give baths everysinglenightofmylife.

So here we are, and the stress is different. Before I was devastated when my 2 yr old told me, "No!". Yesterday my 14yr said, "Mom you are going to have to come to the realization that you will not always be able to tell me what to do."

Right. Check. Roger that.

We are a funny, funny people, always wanting what we do not have, always thinking that what is up ahead is so so much better. Does it not seem like we are always trying to get past the spot that we are in right now?? Because the next spot is going to be soooo much better only to find us STILL looking ahead to the next phase?? It's a whole lot of crazy. I'm a whole lot of crazy. (no need to comment on that last statement)

Don't get me wrong..going back to the diaper phase does NOT sound appealing, I guess I just wish I would have embraced it just a little bit more.. yielded to what my life was then.

Tonight we gathered around our table, all 6 of us, ate yummy blackberry cobbler and prayed. Lately all 6 of us around the table at the same time is rare..us praying together as a family is even more rare. Oh how I thanked my Maker! I basked in the moment and drank in the beauty that is family.

Another year is ending, another season is beginning.. I just need to remember not to rush this next one so much, because dang it, time is something we never get back.

6 comments:

GardenGirl said...

Amber, you are right. We have this moment, and they are fleeting and become increasingly fragile...hold them close.

Coffee. Next week.

Hug,
Deb

Charity Watts said...

Oh so fleeting...these wee babes of ours, not so wee anymore. My senior told me last night that he wanted to MAJOR in education and MINOR in ASL...after I picked my jaw up off the ground, a little (proud) smile crept up on me and I puffed up like a proud Mama chicken! I think he might just turn out ok ;) Miss you girly, so very much

Valerie said...

My kids are grown and the last one is almost gone (she stops by here and there for a night and then disappears again only to be back another day). I do remember thinking when my 21 year old was a baby that it would take FOREVER until he was 18... Well, it didn't take forever, it took 18 of the shortest years of my life. I never mourned the passing of the years, and always looked forward to who my kids would become, but am acutely aware of how fast time goes. Enjoy each and every moment for the present is truly a gift.

tinkerverve said...

There really is nothing more precious than family. I'm so blessed. Sometimes those blessing make me hurt just a bit but I can't ignore the fact that I am indeed a blessed woman. Cherish your days!

Leah said...

I often think to myself, there WILL come a time when my boys will be young men and I will miss all my little hugs and cuteness and forget about the screaming/crying and lack of sleep. I think every parent is guilty of wishing away the hardships of today. I know I'm totally guilty of it! Thanks for the reminder to try to embrace my current life! :)

Our Family said...

Oh Amber...so well said! You have a way with words lady. I love how you can reach out through your writing and give us a good shake...I tell my kids all the time that I wish I had a "pause" button so I could just hold them all right here. <3