I'm drawing a blank here...

Creatively I'm a neurotic mess.

I feel a little like a junky..going from one creative high to the next..always searching for my next fix..always wondering where or how I will score.

I'm wondering if any other artist feel like this?

After a creative high, I'm constantly searching for that feeling again. Trying to recapture the moment, the thrill. Of course just like any other junky it will never again be as a good as the first time.

So I move to the next endeavor.

But this time I'm having a hard time moving on.

I'm a little fearful I've plateaued. It's not a matter of work. I have lots (yay!). For which of course I'm thankful and grateful for..it's just...

I HAVE TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

Just like you need to breathe..

I NEED TO BE CHALLENGED...OFTEN.

Mundane does not sit well in my soul and when I feel it creeping in I panic.

So much of this has to do with the age old question of..

Direction

Or rather the lack there of, because really, truthfully..

I have no flipping clue.

Last night I told my husband, "thank you for putting up with me, I know I'm creatively bi-polar and can never sit still for long, our marriage has been a series of grand Amberish ideas and thoughts, all the while you go with me, push me, love me when I'm a mess. Thank You."

He replied, "Your welcome." smiled and walked (umm..quickly) away..cuz he knew that if he bit..I would cry and loath on about inspiration, challenge, blah, blah, vomit at the mouth..he has seen this before.

Oh the nasty cycle!

So let's pretend that I did not just write all that..let's look at pictures of members of the Strehle clan having fun..so much more delightful..no?











Isn't lavender calming?? It's ALL over the place here at Roosevelt House..so when does the calming part happen?


Hope you are enjoying your summer break..
and thank you for putting up with the bi-polar creative in the corner.

Comments

tinkerverve said…
maybe you're suppose to just RELAX for the summer, enjoy your kids and your next creative high will be TCC...just maybe?
lulu said…
are you sure your not related to Geff? So much like him, become a news photog, that would keep you entertained for a few years. OX L
geff said…
i bumped into another photographer/artist once, who at the time was making ends meet working at the deli counter of a trendy local supermarket. here's what i told her: "the only thing more frightening then failure, is success."

And i meant it.

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